Baby, Maybe, Someday

- This picture will never fail to make me oh so happy:



Any time I need a little bit of happiness, I will look at it and be...happy. I found it at my new favorite place of cuteness. Good times.

- I am developing intense girl crushes on both Kathy Griffin and Lady Gaga. As for Kathy, I think her sense of humor may be a little bit over the top (I watched part of her last appearance on Larry King, man it was hard to watch some of that) but watching her show on Bravo makes me feel real empathy for her. The woman works her ass off and has shitty luck with her love life. I feel that, bro. And Lady Gaga? I just think the world needs Lady Gaga like it needed Madonna in the eighties. Just sayin'.

- Josh is always introducing me to the most awesome TV shows I'd never discover on my own. Northern Exposure, Entourage, Defying Gravity (cancelled! *sniff*), the 4400...and now there is an awesome reality show called Pawn Stars. It's like a trashy version of Antiques Roadshow. I watched 6 episodes in a row last night and I'm craving more. It's always a guy who thinks he's going to get $800 for his Civil War gun and instead only gets, like, $50. I just love it so much.

- I don't think I've been good about replying to comments lately. I'll do better.

- Last week I didn't work out at all, after having worked out 6 days in a row. But I made it back to the gym yesterday, and I count that as a minor victory. At least I didn't wait a month before going back. It's been known to happen. Eating is still terrible, but we'll get there.

- I don't want to be 30. T minus 11 days.

- My mom will be here next Tuesday! I am glad she'll be here for my birthday, although that is mainly because her brother is having surgery. But yay, still, 'cause mommy!

- I miss Axl and I'm getting excited about the dates in Japan in December. I hope it all works out. Axl needs his fans and we need him, damn it.

- The weather is lovely lately.

- More early overtime. I actually like waking up early, when it's still dark. You can actually see stars in the sky at that time! Although getting out of Josh's bed this morning and uncuddling 2 warm Boston Terriers did suck. A lot.

- That is all.

Some things:
a. This is a very awesome article about what I do for a living and even gives a shout-out to my company. This means you should read it.

b. I try to be mature and enjoy things that are age appropriate, well, at least some of the time. But this? I remember the day before I turned 20, I freaked out because it would no longer be socially acceptable in any kind of way to read the Baby Sitters Club. And that crushed my soul a little, because those books were such a major chunk of my childhood. Those books taught me how to read, pretty much! But this book, which comes out in 2010, will assure that I will be reading the BSC into my thirties. And I'm okay with that. Mostly.

c. Last night my good friend brandylina asked if I remembered what the song was they played on the CSI promo 2 years ago when we didn't know if Sara was going to make it out from under that car alive or not. I was amused and not surprised that I knew the answer to this question. I can't remember why I walked into a room, where I put my phone, where I put my keys, but I remember the song of a promo that I watched perhaps 50 times in anticipation of a new season of CSI. I know a lot of my GSR friends will remember what song it was, too. (It's "A Woman's Work by Kate Bush, but you all know that anyway.)

d. I think I am in heat lately or something. I cannot stop drooling over male celebrities. It's becoming a problem. Yesterday I worked on something about the Ed Sullivan show and it featured the performance by the Doors. Now, look, I know Jim Morrison was a frickin' mess. The very definition of mess. But watching him perform made me feel a little funny. He was hot, you guys. And had this raw, sexual charisma thing going on. I can dig it.

Oh, and Christian Kane from Leverage. I just started watching this show and now I understand why it's popular. It's a little too Ocean's 11 sometimes, but I can dig that. And Christian Kane? HOMG.

e. I haven't mentioned Josh lately. There, I mentioned him.

f. I am trying a new schedule of going to the gym right after work, going to bed semi-early, then waking up and doing early overtime. It works for me. I like it. Although this morning, getting out of Josh's bed with two very warm Boston Terriers cuddling me was not fun. In fact, it was the opposite of fun.

g. I'm reading fanfics that were nominated for a CSI fanfic award, and this one is so very amazing. It's Nick/Greg and it's angsty, but ohsogood. Read it if you're into that kind of thing.

h. That is all.

So today I woke up to a rooster crowing in Josh's backyard. He's had chickens back there for a while (for the eggs, apparently?) and he mentioned to me last night, "Hey, we have a rooster now." I was like...oookkay. And then when I woke up this morning, there it was.

"Cockadoodle doooo!" said the rooster. "STFU," I said.

Anyway.

Not much going on the past couple of days. I went to the farm on Saturday and had to stay for longer than 45 minutes this time. I missed my doggie terribly. I missed him when we were having dinner and I didn't have a little redhead staring up at me while I ate. I used to give him half of what was on my plate because I knew it made him happy. Ahhh, Charlie.

We had a tiny little service for my cousin's dog and Charlie on Saturday afternoon. I wasn't really sure how that was going to be, but it ended up being sort of lovely. It was overcast and windy and quiet, and I cried like a bitch. I didn't think I would, but I did anyway because he was my good boy and now he's gone. Also my dad got these little gravestones made that had a similar looking dog to Charlie engraved on it, which just got me going good. It was a nice little ceremony, but then 3 different people at 3 different times said, "Well, at least you got closure." Yeah, whatever. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that closure is bullshit. Closure is what happens when you let yourself move on, not when some dumbass ceremony says you're supposed to have closure.

Moving on! Since my cousin took my usual room at the farm, I had to share a room with my dad's lady friend's friend, who snored like a gorilla. I did not get a lot of sleep that night.

I am getting frustrated with the amount of working out I'm doing lately. It's getting closer to summer and I'm freaking out a little about the state of my body. I want to wear shorts. I want to wear tank tops. These things are not going to happen, but it's really not because I'm only working out 3 or 4 times a week. It's because I'm having a Steak, Egg and Cheese bagel for breakfast. I KNOW in my brains that on days I don't work out, I need to eat less, and on days I do work out, I can be a little bad but not McDonald's kind of bad. I sabotage myself. I don't know why.

Those of you who work out, how often do you do it? Are you satisfied with that amount? I've just always found it a challenge to fit in Josh, working out and doing overtime during the week and I've never been able to figure out a satisfying way of doing so, not even in the 3 years we've been together.

I would like to share other happier things today but I guess I don't have happy time thoughts for this morning. Hmm. Happy things:
- Josh is lovely and looks hot in hats
- It rained awesomely last night
- My iPhone is the best thing ever invented
- Horse racing season is about to start
- I might get a new Altima soon
- I am catching up on Life and realizing why I love that show very much
- I love working out
- That is all.

Ooh, also we just obtained Guitar Hero Metallica and while I kind of suck at it, I don't completely suck. Also I enjoy Metallica and like that they have stood the test of time, and wish that my one and only Guns N Roses could have only done the same.

That is all.

( CSI, or, it's always darkest before the dawn. )

In other news, I had the most amazing work out tonight. I got there earlier than usual 'cause I thought maybe they'd have CSI on one of the TVs and I could watch while I was on the treadmill. Denied. Instead they had Grey's Anatomy. Hmmphh. So I did maybe 30 minutes of my leg strength training stuff, then did...45 minutes on the treadmill. One mile in 17.5 minutes! That's almost my goal of 17 by Thanksgiving. And then I kept going and going and by the time I'd done 45 minutes, I got up to 2.5 miles. That's hardcore for me, y'all. Like in a ridiculous way. I feel I owe this feat to two things: watching hours and hours of The Biggest Loser over the last couple of days, and um, watching the first and half of the second episode of Gossip Girl on my iPod while on the treadmill. I may need to see a lot more of that show, but don't tell anyone.

After the treadmill I did 20 minutes on the bike and then 100+ sit ups. When I stood up from the sit ups to finally leave, my foot felt like I broke it in 13 places, but I feel it's worth it. Pain is good, yes?

So I have my weigh-in tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to be losing any weight this week. But I am confident in the fact that my work-outs are getting so much better and effective. I'm getting more endurance and I'm able to lift heavier weights and go further on the treadmill...it's definitely the longest amount of time I've been going to the gym without more than 2 weeks of a break. It's been 3 months, so I'm pretty happy about that.

Something smells pretty gross in my apartment but I have no idea what.

That is all.

So at the gym tonight, there was a boy that I enjoyed looking at...a lot. He was hot, if you will. He also had a chick with him, but whatevs. That is something I don't get, while I'm on the subject, couples who work out together. When I work out, I don't want to talk to anybody or smile politely at anybody or, like, know anybody. It's my time to tune out the world and do my thing.

But I digress. The guy was hot. He had many, many complicated-looking tattoos located many places on his body. He had lovely arms. He even had red hair, of which I am a fan. (My boyfriend also has many of these features. I'm just sayin'.) But he also had a headband on, and along with his rockin' glasses, he totally looked like Screech. Dude, the headband just kind of ruined the whole thing. The headband...made me sad. It was so important to me that I had to come home and talk to you about it, that's how important it was!

I had a good workout, but I probably ate too much today for it to do much good. I don't know why I do it to myself, it really makes no sense. The only thing about my body that I'm a fan of right now is that possibly, my nails are the longest they've ever been. I don't know why, and I know it is kind of a pain in the ass to type properly, but I love them. I can't even stop looking at them. Good lord.

Also, I watched Burn Notice on my iPod while I was on the treadmill, and it took me half the show to figure out who the random guest star was. Vartann! Oh, Detective "I hate fatties" Vartann, how we miss you on the show. Except not really.

On a totally different subject, I'm totally ignorant about politics, let's get that out of the way right now. I don't want to vote for Hillary, and a big reason why is because she's a woman. I will freely admit that. I don't want to vote for McCain 'cause he's sort of an asshole, as far as I can tell. I don't want to vote for Obama because my dad says with all these promises he's making, he's going to bankrupt the country if does become president. Also, he looks like he needs to eat a sandwich. See? Ignorant.

But tonight I actually watched the news and they were talking about this infamous preacher that's gotten Obama in trouble recently. Obama may have been trying to distance himself from the guy in the past couple of days, but he also defended him, too. He said that the guy helped introduce him to his faith, and a lot of his ideals, and that he's part of who he is even if he doesn't agree with everything he says. I don't know, it just really impressed me, and I need to find out more about this Obama guy and what he's all about.

I'm using my BSG icon because it's a show that I really, really want to be more into. I watched a recap of the first 3 seasons that made it sound like the most bad assiest show ever, and Josh loves it so much that when it's on, he sets his alarm on his phone 5 minutes before it comes on. I've seen a lot of episodes but not in order, so everything is kind of random. What I know is that I'm fascinated by Starbuck, Gaius Baltar, and the relationship between Adama and Laura Roslin.

It rained all day today. That makes me happy.

That is all.

I find it necessary to post an entry on this day that only comes every 4 years. So here I am. Yay.

I'd like to share 2 pictures with y'all today in order to hold myself accountable for my number one goal this year, that being to lose some weight, damn it! I've been falling off the train these past couple of weeks and I feel myself getting to that place where I say, "fuck it, I'll just be fat forever." That's not okay. So here's some pictures that I'd like to share.

( Yay pictures! )

In completely different news, I wrote this awesome fic today that isn't getting a lot of response. So, you know, if you're into that kind of thing, read it! It's a happy ending for Grissom and Sara, I swear!

I've also been working on an MSCL fanfic for a few weeks that I should finish at some point. MSCL is harder than CSI since there was only 19 episodes ever, but I know them all so well and it shouldn't be this difficult.

I think I will now shut up.