Baby, Maybe, Someday

Oh, hello. I have been back from Utah since Saturday. Now I must return to the real world of work and stuff tomorrow. Usually around this time of year, I get all depressed and get into a funk and it's just not pretty. But this year...I have a plan.

My dad has really been suggesting court reporting school for a while now. Usually I'm just like, yeah...right. Who wants to do that? But I'm thinking about it. They make a lot of money. Well, more money than I make now. And it's a logical next step in my "career." And if I don't get off my ass and write that novel or figure out how to start a nature photography situation, then I'll need something else, something other than captioning, to sustain me over the years. So yeah...I'm looking into this. It might be fun! Or...not.

Let's see, Richfield. I had fun. I got a lost of rest, had a lot of time to read (I read like 4 books! Including The Time Traveler's Wife again because I'm still obsessed with it), bonded with mom and dogs and mountains...it was really cool. I miss it. I miss it so much that when my BFF picked me up at the airport, I spontaneously burst into tears when she hugged me. But I'll be okay. I just need to figure some things out and my life will be just fine.

We rented a lot of movies, too. I LOVE Anvil: The story of Anvil. So hardcore, and I want to buy their albums now. Just in support of them and their story. Also I watched the Time Traveler's Wife. Twice. I only made it through half of The Godfather. And The Way We Were was not emotionally satisfying. Robert Redford is gorgeous and all, but such a dipshit in that movie!

Oh, and I got over that unfortunate Twilight thing. But I have picked up another unfortunate habit instead--Farmville. It's my mom's fault. She's obsessed and made it look cute and fun and now I'm addicted! *sob*

I rented a car in Utah. It had XM radio! I love me some XM. One of my favorite things to do ever, I've decided, is drive around aimlessly with my camera, listening to Hair Nation, looking at mountains and clouds and not caring about any kind of schedule. I wish I could do it every day, it's just so gratifying. Also, I discovered the editing feature on Picasa and now my life is different.

I also really did not enjoy being fat. I'm going to try to stop being that.

So here's some pictures. A lot of pictures. Most of them include mountains, or dogs, or clouds. Because that's just what I like. So let's do this.




( A lot more... )

Hey, here's a year-end meme. Bet you've never seen one of those before!

( Read more )

Earlier, I woke up from a delicious nap and I couldn't find my phone. Anywhere. So I emailed my brother to call me and turns out, it was in a pillow case! How does that even happen?!! Life is a mystery, my friends. Such a mystery.

( TMI, pics of horses and dogs and storms! )

So today I woke up to a rooster crowing in Josh's backyard. He's had chickens back there for a while (for the eggs, apparently?) and he mentioned to me last night, "Hey, we have a rooster now." I was like...oookkay. And then when I woke up this morning, there it was.

"Cockadoodle doooo!" said the rooster. "STFU," I said.

Anyway.

Not much going on the past couple of days. I went to the farm on Saturday and had to stay for longer than 45 minutes this time. I missed my doggie terribly. I missed him when we were having dinner and I didn't have a little redhead staring up at me while I ate. I used to give him half of what was on my plate because I knew it made him happy. Ahhh, Charlie.

We had a tiny little service for my cousin's dog and Charlie on Saturday afternoon. I wasn't really sure how that was going to be, but it ended up being sort of lovely. It was overcast and windy and quiet, and I cried like a bitch. I didn't think I would, but I did anyway because he was my good boy and now he's gone. Also my dad got these little gravestones made that had a similar looking dog to Charlie engraved on it, which just got me going good. It was a nice little ceremony, but then 3 different people at 3 different times said, "Well, at least you got closure." Yeah, whatever. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that closure is bullshit. Closure is what happens when you let yourself move on, not when some dumbass ceremony says you're supposed to have closure.

Moving on! Since my cousin took my usual room at the farm, I had to share a room with my dad's lady friend's friend, who snored like a gorilla. I did not get a lot of sleep that night.

I am getting frustrated with the amount of working out I'm doing lately. It's getting closer to summer and I'm freaking out a little about the state of my body. I want to wear shorts. I want to wear tank tops. These things are not going to happen, but it's really not because I'm only working out 3 or 4 times a week. It's because I'm having a Steak, Egg and Cheese bagel for breakfast. I KNOW in my brains that on days I don't work out, I need to eat less, and on days I do work out, I can be a little bad but not McDonald's kind of bad. I sabotage myself. I don't know why.

Those of you who work out, how often do you do it? Are you satisfied with that amount? I've just always found it a challenge to fit in Josh, working out and doing overtime during the week and I've never been able to figure out a satisfying way of doing so, not even in the 3 years we've been together.

I would like to share other happier things today but I guess I don't have happy time thoughts for this morning. Hmm. Happy things:
- Josh is lovely and looks hot in hats
- It rained awesomely last night
- My iPhone is the best thing ever invented
- Horse racing season is about to start
- I might get a new Altima soon
- I am catching up on Life and realizing why I love that show very much
- I love working out
- That is all.

Ooh, also we just obtained Guitar Hero Metallica and while I kind of suck at it, I don't completely suck. Also I enjoy Metallica and like that they have stood the test of time, and wish that my one and only Guns N Roses could have only done the same.

That is all.

A list:
- I went to my dad's farm in East Texas yesterday for puppy snuggling, etc. And his internet wasn't working at all and I went without it for almost 24 hours, omg! *flails* I'm already up to skip=240 on my friend's list. It is making my brains hurt.

- Tomorrow I have an endocrinologist appointment at 8:30 in the morning, and they will yell at me 'cause I haven't lost a lot of weight and I haven't been really awesome about my pills lately. And then I'm going to Jenny on Tuesday evening and that will suck 'cause I haven't been for 2 weeks. The first week I did really well and got my shit together, but the second week I was nervous about my car and having some Josh issues and I emotionally ate, which will show on the scale. I am not happy about either of these appointments and want to cancel them immediately, but I already canceled the doctor twice and Jenny once, so...time to face the music. *sigh*

- I am not excited about the amount of reviews I got on my smutathon fic. I know, that's stupid to care about, but last year's fic got probably more than twice the amount of reviews this one got. Of course, last year's was GSR and this year was Riley/Nick/Greg, and who cares about them, I guess. And it was my longest one-shot ever, almost 6,000 words. So I guess I don't blame people for not caring, but still...ouch. I need to catch up on everyone's stories, too. Perhaps tonight I'll have my own smutathon.

- I miss my doggy Charlie. I wish he didn't like to maul the mail man so that he could come live in the city again. Phttt.

- I am at work. I should probably work.

I wanted to do this tomorrow but I'm in a groove with these pictures right now, so here we go. BTW, I've been doing this at Josh's house while listening to every GN'R song every made. I think know I have a problem.

I woke up super early on Thursday morning and it was sooo foggy and beautiful and I got really, really excited and took like 720 pictures of it.


( Click here for fog and dogs! )
Also: I have to catch up on 13,000 words for Nano in the next 2 days. I have nothing planned, and I think that I can achieve this. *crosses fingers*

And speaking of GN'R obsessing, I may...have sent a letter to Axl today. It was something I've been wanting to do for a long time now, and I feel good about it. Maybe not good. More like stupid. But whatevs, what can it hurt, right?

Also, this is probably the most awesome youtube video that has ever existed in my world. It's from last year in Japan, and I think it had been many, many years since he last sang Don't Cry. Oh, man, I just love it so much.

I think I need help.