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lizwontcryDamn! And you guys complain about D-land.. it took me almost 2 hours to log-in to fucking LJ. What do you have to say for yourselves now, HUH?
I have a strong urge to write about the dream I had last night. It was just.. different. It had all the usual.. naked angst, Matt liking other chicks, my dad pissing me off, my dogs, plus an unfrozen Austin Powers to make things even more fun.. but this one had Tom Hanks. At the very end, when I'm so full of frustration and depression and tears and all that fun stuff, here comes Tom Hanks. And he's wearing a suit, like the one he wears in the Terminal, except it's purple. And he comes out with this speech about how he knows we've had our problems, but he had to come see me, and he wants to be with me forever, and then.. then we kiss.
I know this is absolutely the most retarded thing ever, but I remember this dream kiss and I so wish that I could have a kiss like that in real life. It was a fucking amazing kiss! It was not only a sexy kiss, with lip biting and all, but it was the PROMISE that it was a kiss that MEANT something, like FOREVER. And that was really what got me, and that's why I'm still thinking about it.
Obviously it has to do with the somewhat disasterous date with Matt last night.. there was kissing, of course, but it was the straight "Let's do the nookie" kissing and none of this "I'm kissing you because I love you and I CHOOSE you and I want to BE WITH YOU."
Obviously I was kissing Tom Hanks because he is the person that I have had an ongoing crush on the longest. He even beats Axl by 4 years! I liked him when I was 8 years old! And I never quite got over it. You have to admit, he's pretty cute.
Awww yeah.
The whole thing with Matt last night was just unfortunate. Apparently I only get drunk when my whole family is around for good reason - I have nothing to hide from them. But when I got drunk last night (TWO margaritas.. I'm hopeless), I started thinking about all the stuff that exists between us and all the problems we're not addressing and it came pouring out in spite of myself. I hate ruining my composure like that.
But it's not like we don't know we have problems. Sure, it's fine to sit there on his bed and watch TIVO and snuggle and grope each other, but in public, it's a whole different thing. I don't feel quite so comfortable with him, at all. I probably needed a little alcohol because I was feeling a little tense! I almost actually dreaded going to dinner with him because I knew there was going to be an hour or two to fill with conversation.
And basically, his assessment of the situation is that when he sees I can figure out how to make a life for myself without him, he will want more of a relationship. Right now, this is all about me finding a job.
I could go on and on about this but the 3 of you that read this probably don't care all that much, and my stomach hurts, and I have to go do actual work now. Plus, I have to poop.
Man, do I love me some Tom Hanks. I want to marry him. Seriously! Look out, Rita Wilson.
I have a strong urge to write about the dream I had last night. It was just.. different. It had all the usual.. naked angst, Matt liking other chicks, my dad pissing me off, my dogs, plus an unfrozen Austin Powers to make things even more fun.. but this one had Tom Hanks. At the very end, when I'm so full of frustration and depression and tears and all that fun stuff, here comes Tom Hanks. And he's wearing a suit, like the one he wears in the Terminal, except it's purple. And he comes out with this speech about how he knows we've had our problems, but he had to come see me, and he wants to be with me forever, and then.. then we kiss.
I know this is absolutely the most retarded thing ever, but I remember this dream kiss and I so wish that I could have a kiss like that in real life. It was a fucking amazing kiss! It was not only a sexy kiss, with lip biting and all, but it was the PROMISE that it was a kiss that MEANT something, like FOREVER. And that was really what got me, and that's why I'm still thinking about it.
Obviously it has to do with the somewhat disasterous date with Matt last night.. there was kissing, of course, but it was the straight "Let's do the nookie" kissing and none of this "I'm kissing you because I love you and I CHOOSE you and I want to BE WITH YOU."
Obviously I was kissing Tom Hanks because he is the person that I have had an ongoing crush on the longest. He even beats Axl by 4 years! I liked him when I was 8 years old! And I never quite got over it. You have to admit, he's pretty cute.
Awww yeah.
The whole thing with Matt last night was just unfortunate. Apparently I only get drunk when my whole family is around for good reason - I have nothing to hide from them. But when I got drunk last night (TWO margaritas.. I'm hopeless), I started thinking about all the stuff that exists between us and all the problems we're not addressing and it came pouring out in spite of myself. I hate ruining my composure like that.
But it's not like we don't know we have problems. Sure, it's fine to sit there on his bed and watch TIVO and snuggle and grope each other, but in public, it's a whole different thing. I don't feel quite so comfortable with him, at all. I probably needed a little alcohol because I was feeling a little tense! I almost actually dreaded going to dinner with him because I knew there was going to be an hour or two to fill with conversation.
And basically, his assessment of the situation is that when he sees I can figure out how to make a life for myself without him, he will want more of a relationship. Right now, this is all about me finding a job.
I could go on and on about this but the 3 of you that read this probably don't care all that much, and my stomach hurts, and I have to go do actual work now. Plus, I have to poop.
Man, do I love me some Tom Hanks. I want to marry him. Seriously! Look out, Rita Wilson.
