November 2 2003

[lizwontcry]

Nano is taking a life of its own already. I'm up to 2,500 words so far, but it's a really crappy 2,500 words. I've already put a story within the story about the battle between vampires and werewolves, and I almost feel like a fraud because I've never really written a science-fiction like story before and I feel like I'm making a mockery of the whole damm thing.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I haven't written an outline or anything, I'm just kinda writing out of my ass. I think it'll work out, though. I'm not planning on trying to sell it or anything, it's just gonna be a fun thing to do during November. Or some such.

I worked today. Man, working really interferes with my whole free-time schedule! I didn't have time to work out today. I barely had time to do Nano. I worked until 3 and then at 4:30 Joey and I went to see My Life Without Me. I really didn't like this movie at all. But that's just me. When it was over, I dragged him to the porn store because I had some movies that were due, and also because I wanted to show the guys that work there that I had some kind of boy in my life. Sure, he's gay as Christmas, but they don't need to know that.

It's weird to not have so much free time. It's weird that Matt wants me to let him know what my schedule is so we can plan something together. It's weird because when I had all the time in the world, he wasn't interested. But I guess that was the point.

At work today, I didn't feel like I was connecting with any of my customers. I didn't feel a vibe with any of them.. it seemed like they were all annoyed with life in general or with me or with their burritos. I didn't like it. It made me really uncomfortable. I was really happy to leave there today. It was ooky.

Meanwhile, I am crazy looking forward to going to Vegas. That's probably a dangerous thing, because we haven't really set those plans in stone yet. But thinking about the hours of driving there and then spending a few nights in a hotel with Matt on New Years.. if it happens, its going to be incredible. It will be a test for the two of us, I know that. I know it might be kind of hardcore to spend a week or so trapped in a small car together, just the two of us, after not spending more than 2 days at a time together for more than a year. That does sound scary, now that I think about it. But I think we need something hardcore like that. I think we need it to show if we can do this. And if we can't, well, I'm glad I know that. Good times, that's what I say.

I rented National Lampoon's Vacation tonight because it had commentary from most of the original cast. If that doesn't give me a chubby, I don't know what can! I also got Spaceballs with commentary from Mel Brooks! Holy bajeezus, how can you go wrong with that shiznit?!

I feel like I should have written a lot more than 2,500 words by now. But I have a job, and a social life, and I'm tired. I'm still ahead of schedule, so that's good. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get back on the ball and kick some ass.