July 5th, 2001

I feel compelled to write some more tonight.

I have recently found the presence of Mars to be very comforting. I look for it every night, and once I see it, I feel good again.

Have yall seen the Olive Garden commercial with the guy and his uncle? They are sitting WAYYY too close to each other. I don't care he's his damn uncle, he looks a little too friendly.

Not to mention the singing belly buttons. Oh please, let's not mention that.

My boyfriend just got a new bed on my credit. I let him do it and I know he has the means to pay it, but it makes me nervous. Can I still break up with him someday if he has still owes me $300 for a bed?

Not that I'm going to break up with him anytime soon or anything.

But he doesn't even put sheets on his bed or anything. It's kinda wierd.

I am watching VH1's best of 1994. I hated 1994. Nothing good happened. My parents got divorced, but that was actually good, so nevermind. It was 1995 that was really my best year.

Diaryland is so addictive. It's even more addictive than BUST, and that's quite addictive itself.

It's funny how I'm addicted to reading about other people's lives, people I don't know or will ever talk to or anything.

But that's okay.

Kurt Cobain was cute.

I really need to lose weight. My shirts don't look good anymore. I'm glad my bf felt compelled to tell me this tonight. Well, I am glad, because I need to know. I need to stop wearing tight shirts because they just don't look good.

I don't think I'm ugly, at all. All the things I have wrong with me I can somehow fix at some point. I was actually a really attractive person once.

I want to see Cats and Dogs soon.

Holy fuck, is it really 1:21 AM? I still have shit to do.

Good night.

July 5th 2001

So I can't find my brush. So I haven't been able to brush my hair in like.. 3 days. I've washed it and everything, but I can't brush it! It's all very sad.

I will someday look back on this summer and thing, "how sad, she can't stop eating Bagel sandwiches and she never brushes her hair."

I suck at making friends. I'm kinda friendly with the girl who sits next to me in math, but what do I do from there? Do I invite her to go get drunk or something? I don't want to get drunk with a stranger. I don't want to get drunk at all, really. What will most likely happen is after the exam tommorow, I bolt the hell out of there, and never talk to anyone in that class again. Which is a shame, because some of them could really potentially break me out of this shell I'm in. I'll probably also not be able to say goodbye to Math boy properly and he'll think I don't like him at all and that's just not true.

I hate the summer. This summer is better than maybe the last 5 summers, but it still sucks. It's 95 degrees and I can't wear shorts because nobody wants to see that.

I'm going to start working out hardcore next week. Because last year at that time (after the first semester of summer school) I worked out and gasp, actually lost weight.

Good lord. I need social skills.

Below, for your enjoyment, is my namesake's lyrics.

Below that is the million web rings I belong to.

MyMichele, Guns N Roses

Your daddy works in porno

Now that mommy's not around

She used to love her heroin

But now she's underground

So you stay out late at night

And you do your coke for free

Drivin' your friends crazy

With your life's insanity

Well, well, well you just can't tell

Well, well, well my Michelle

Sowin' all your wild oats

In another's luxuries

Yesterday was Tuesday

Maybe Thursday you can sleep

But school starts much too early

And this hotel wasn't free

So party till your connection call

Honey I'll return the key

Well, well, well you just can't tell

Well, well, well my Michelle

Well, well, well you never can tell

Well, well, well my Michelle

Everyone needs love

You know that it's true

Someday you'll find someone

That'll fall in love with you

But oh the time it takes

When you're all alone

Someday you'll find someone

That you can call your own

But till then ya better...

Now you're clean

And so discreet

I won't say a word

But most of all this song is true

Case you haven't heard

So c'mon and stop your cryin'

'Cause we both know money burns

Honey don't stop tryin;

An you'll get what you deserve

July 5th 2001

Today was kinda bittersweet.

So we had a review session for the final. It was pretty much the same people who've been to all of them, and now we all kinda have a repor, if you will. Once I start feeling comfortable around people, I'll go a little nuts.

Math boy even said, "I remember when I first met you, you were all quiet, and now we can't shut you up!"

It was fun. We tried to concentrate on math but kinda went into the world of Alotta Fagina and something about penises.

So the saga of me and Math boy ends before it can begin. I guess I could go bug him in the computer lab where he works, but I doubt I'll do that.

The irony of this is the last time I had a crush on somebody, knowing I wouldn't have time to develop it, was in 8th grade, and he has the same name as Math boy! It's a wierd name, too.

I think about stuff like that. I know I'm a dork.

I have two exams tommorow, yet I'm playing Scrabble and reading people's diarys. My god. What is wrong with me.

Bleh. This is the first time I've actually felt sad about leaving a math class. About any class, that I can think of. I think I did give Math boy a proper goodbye and I don't think he thinks I don't like him and all that crap. I need to chill and think about other things now.

Well, I need to think about taking my exams, but that's it.

I suck.

MTV's tough enough is mildly entertaining. I know I don't have the shit it takes to be a wrestler, so I can respect people who think they can.

Have a nice day.