Here's a fanfic meme!
Dec. 29th, 2007 10:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizwontcrySo I wrote some fanfic this year. Before this year, I hadn't written anything since 2004. Hopefully I'll keep writing in 2008, and hopefully it will be more than fanfic, it'll be something that, like, I can actually make a profit from at some point in the future. Think of all the possibilities!
So here's a fanfic meme. I stole it from Velocity because I'm bad like that.
All of these are for CSI. I started a Pushing Daisies fic a week ago that's really quite strange, and I want to write a Reaper fic, but everything here is CSI. It's all Grissom/Sara because I'm so original.
Big 'uns: I'd like to take a second to thank GSFanatic for beta-ing most of the big ones. She contacted me when I was writing Delicious Fury and ripped me a new one about how I characterized Grissom. I thought that was so awesome, I made her be my beta. She comes up with the most awesome ideas and talks me out of my more off the wall plots. She's my voice of reason, really.
Since I Met You - 59,735 words, 77 reviews (more on Geekfiction but too lazy to count, same goes for the rest of my multi-chapters), 20 chapters. My epic, my beautiful, beautiful epic. It never got the reviews it deserved, but it was still my baby and I still love it. It's about the GSR through the past, present and future, but it's also about Sara going back to California to see her mother, who is dying from a brain tumor. It took me 3 months to write, and I lurve it.
The One That Got Away - 33,259 words, 70 reviews, 12 chapters. My little AU fic about what would have happened if Holly survived her first night only to be taken by Natalie 7 years later, and only then did Grissom get a chance to call Sara in. Grissom was married when he met Sara, and then Sara was married when she came to Vegas to replace Holly. They get together, of course, but there are many complications in between. I heart this one. So much.
Full of Ghosts Tonight - 8,306 words so far, still a WIP. The sequel to The One That Got Away. This one is...how you say...not so popular at the moment. But there's only been 3 chapters and all of them have been terribly depressing, dealing with Sara losing her baby and everything. Hopefully the upcoming, less depressing chapters will be a little more popular.
Not Ready to Say Goodbye - 13,676 words, 10 chapters, 40 reviews. My first attempt since 2004 to write something. I wrote it quickly and didn't have a beta, but I really enjoyed writing it and people really seemed to enjoy reading it. It was a quick look at the ups and downs of Grissom and Sara's relationship through the years. For the longest time, this one always had more hits than Since I Met You, which drove me nuts!
Distraction - 14,722 words, 7 chapters, 19 reviews. This one is about, predictably, the distractions that got in the way of the relationship. The first couple of chapters deal with Sofia, the rest are about sabbaticals and such.
Delicious Fury - 6,749 words, 5 chapters, 3 reviews. Ah, Delicious Fury. It's my only unfinished WIP, because nobody seemed to like it in the slightest. The premise was that Lady Heather's husband was killed, and the CSIs have to figure out who did it. There was going to be this awesome GSR/Lady Heather triangle action, but nobody seemed to care. I want to finish it at some point.
One shots:
No Way of Knowing - 1,021 words, 8 reviews. I wrote this on Christmas just 'cause. It's a Butterflied post-ep, where Sara watches Grissom through the glass and has no way of knowing that in a year or two, everything would change.
Living Dead Girl - 5,799 words, 7 reviews. This was my post-Living Doll fic that I wrote off and on for like 3 months. It was long and I loved it and it only got 7 reviews, which made me a little sad, truthfully. I mean, I did post it the day before Dead Doll aired, so it wasn't exactly timely, but come on.
He Held My Hand - 1,082 words, 18 reviews. A Dead Doll post-ep with Sara reflecting on what Grissom holding her hand has meant to her at certain points in her life. I liked it. A lot of other people did, too.
Full Circle - 1,134 words, 9 reviews. A post-ep for Cross Dressing Carp, where Sara thinks about Grissom's proposal and compares it to when he said he needed her in Blood Lust all those years ago.
The Forest for the Trees - 826 words, 15 reviews. Secret Santa fic for Bestkeptprivate. Grissom gets Sara something special for Christmas.
Dallas - 3,117 words, 6 reviews. A little something for geekfiction's I Love the Eighties challenge. Sara really loves her some Dallas and uses it as a refuge in the crappy times of her life.
Why - 3,883 words, 8 reviews. Based on Grissom's quote in Cool Change about having so many unanswered whys.
This is About Us - 7 reviews. The folks over at TWoP wanted a fic about the team's reactions to GSR, so I wrote a little doohickey about it.
Resurrection - 4,077 words, 12 reviews. I actually learned a little something from this one! It was for the geekfiction Summer Reading challenge, and I learned all about Tolstoy.
Belle of the Ball - 1,640 words, 6 reviews. Sara gets all dressed up to go to the Law Enforcement Ball, and Gil shows up to out the relationship. A cute, fluffy one-shot.
May All Your Dreams Come True - 2,199 words, 7 reviews. A Time of Your Death post-ep, complete with fantasy fulfillment. Yum!
Don't Cry - 803 words, 3 reviews. A songfic based on Empty Eyes.
Pin Me Down Again - 2,922 words, 12gtfr4 g5n104hi reviews. An Invisible Evidence post-ep where they actually get it on instead of ignoring each other for a few years.
Don't Cry - 803 words, 3 reviews. Song fic, Empty Eyes post-ep.
Reaction - 796 words, 11 reviews. Written 5 minutes after watching Living Doll. It's, well, the reactions of everyone to Grissom's confession.
*****
Favorite Story This Year: That would definitely be Since I Met You. It never got the reviews that I hoped for, but I accomplished my original intention, which was to put in story-form why I am so intrigued by that which is GSR. The people who liked it really, really liked it, and my beta loved it too, so that's good.
My Best Story This Year: The One That Got Away. It was AU and I didn't think anyone could care, but a lot of people did and it really made me happy. I think it's my best story because I was so careful to write it a way that would be interesting to people who wouldn't normally read AU. I experimented a lot, created my own little universe, and it worked well.
Most Fun Story: I think This is About Us, because I wrote it sort of on request and it was cute and mostly light-hearted.
Sexiest Story: May All Your Dreams Come True was pretty hot for a one-shot, but the sex scene I wrote in The One That Got Away, I think, was some pretty fine work. I mean, damn. (Check it out, it's in chapter 9!)
Hardest Story to Write: Full of Ghosts Tonight is a challenging WIP. There doesn't seem to be a lot of people reading it, and it's kind of a post-ep to Good-bye and Good Luck, but it's AU and it's a lot more depressing. Living Dead Girl was also pretty hard because there were SO MANY post-LD fics out there and I wanted mine to be good, if not better than most of them. And mine focused more on Sara's reaction to Natalie, which I didn't see in too many fics out there.
Easiest Story to Write: Since I wrote it a few days ago, No Way of Knowing comes to mind as being pretty darn easy. I was in an unrequited love kind of mood and what better to write about than Butterflied?
(I'm adding a category because I am such a special little review whore)
Story I wish got more reviews - I am really, really bad about reviews. I mean, I want them. I want a lot of them. In the hours after I write something, I check my email like 82 times an hour. And if something doesn't get any, I wonder what went wrong. Like Living Dead Girl. It was almost 6,000 words, it took me months to write, and nobody read it! And my AU baby, The One That Got Away, got 70 reviews and it was 12 chapters long, while Since I Met You was 20 chapters long and had 77 reviews. I still don't get it. And it still makes me a little sad.
*****
Choice Lines -
Oh, boy. I am a fan of myself, so I can think of lots. Sad, right?
From Since I Met You:
They both woke up a few hours later with only one thing on their mind. This time, Grissom pinned her wrists down and entered her with an interesting aggressiveness that turned her on in a way she never experienced. And as she came again and again, she thought to herself, it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be like this.
****
"It may be longer then a week or two," she said softly, refusing to look at him.
"What do you mean? Why would you want to stay longer then that? You only have a week or two left of leave."
"Yeah, Grissom, I know that. I may just stay here. I've been talking to Martin and I think I may get my job back here. I think it would be good for me."
"Sara...the lab needs you. You're the best CSI we've got," he said, a silent pleading in his voice, a tinge of desperation.
And Sara was hurtled back 5 years to when she first presented him with her leave of absence. Just like back then he didn't say what both of them wanted him to say: I need you. Fuck the lab, I need you, god damn it!
"It sucks, doesn't it? To need something and not get it."
They looked at each other, pain permeating the atmosphere around them. They knew this place. They were comfortable in this place. It was the other part, the being together part, that was hard.
Sara wanted to be the first to walk away, but he surprised her. He walked away. And he didn't look back.
****
This is rock bottom, she thought. It has to be. When she came to Vegas, she had no idea it was going to be like this. Had she known, she would have spared everyone the trouble and stayed in San Francisco, where she obviously belonged. Maybe she and Chris would have been married by now, talking about kids with a gleam in their eye.
But she knew that wouldn't be the life for her. It had always been Gil Grissom, and even if she never did wind up with him, at least she went down fighting.
*****
From Distraction -
He dreamed. He dreamed about waking up foggily, peeling the sleep out of his eyes, throwing some water on his face. He dreamed about getting in his car, driving to Sara's apartment and knocking loudly on her door. He dreamed about how she opened the door after a few minutes, having just woken up herself. He dreamed of staying silent and letting his hands do the talking. He dreamed of taking her hand, leading her inside her own apartment, pinning her against the wall and giving her a long, slow, passionate kiss that said anything he needed to say. He dreamed of her smiling, a smile so content and happy it made his heart ache. He dreamed of them moving to the bedroom, where they performed in bed what they had been dancing around for too many years to count. He dreamed of them falling asleep together, sweaty and satisfied.
****
Fortunately, Sara understood this. Well, most of the time. Sometimes she, too, got frustrated with the amount of time they spent together. But they were both workaholics, caught up in the game that was solving the crime. He admired her abilities, her attention to detail, her love of science. He also loved the curves of her body, the way she moved when they made love, the way she moaned when he kissed her earlobe, how she smiled at him when they both woke up from a long, much-needed sleep.
*****
From May All Your Dreams Come True -
The doorbell rang. Sara grinned and opened the door.
"You're early--"
Gil Grissom came into Sara's townhouse, closed the door, locked it, and kissed her. He put his hands in her hair, pulled her close to him, and kissed her. Long and hard and short and sweet, with tongue, without tongue, biting her lip just a little bit. When she didn't slap his face right off his head, he pinned her against the door and kissed her even more. He didn't want to stop this kiss, this kiss that had been in the making for 10 years now. But when they both were struggling to breathe, they came up for air.
*****
From Pin Me Down Again -
And there they were again. Like earlier, she had her hands up in the air, he had his hands around her waist. And instead of talking about the case, he leaned in closer to her. He looked her in the eye. She nodded, just a tiny nod. And he kissed her. With tongue. And it was sloppy, and it wasn't perfect, and it was the most amazing thing either of them never imagined. Within seconds, they were down on the floor, arms and legs and tongues tangled together in a complicated web. There was a bed somewhere in this house, they both knew, but neither of them wanted to stop kissing long enough to find it.
*****
From Resurrection -
Sara followed him to the Denali and slid in the passenger seat. While he started the car, she looked at the book that was sitting in the console.
"War and Peace, huh? I never figured you a Tolstoy kind of guy."
"Why not? I have a bit of a soft spot for Russian writers. They always have a different perspective from everyone else."
"Hmm," she said, thumbing through the pages. "You know, Tolstoy's wife, the love of his life, was 16 years younger than him." She said this without looking at him, with a slightly mischievous smile forming on her lips.
Gil didn't need to do the math to know what Sara was saying in her Sara-way.
Oh, hell, he thought. I may never have a better opportunity. So he leaned over and he kissed her. They hadn't even left the parking lot, any one of their co-workers could have walked by to witness this miracle in the making, but Grissom couldn't let this opportunity pass him by.
*****
From Living Dead Girl -
And so it occurred to her that Natalie left Sara for dead to get back at Grissom, and the anger mounted once again. Sara thought of how Grissom would feel if she died because of something he did. Grissom worried about her when she came home 10 minutes later then she said would, how would he feel if she disappeared, well, forever? He had high blood pressure. Stress caused his heart rate to sky rocket. If anything, she was mad at Natalie for stressing him out. After all this time, after all they'd been through together, to have their time cut short by a mentally unstable woman...it just wouldn't have been fair.
Because she and Grissom? They'd finally figured it out. They lived together. They brushed their teeth together. They took turns doing laundry. They had an understanding about sleep cuddling, which was they just didn't do it. Cuddling before and after was just fine, but during the sleeping process, it was off-limits. They just weren't sleep cuddlers. And sometimes, if Sara had a good day, she'd cook him a steak while she just make herself some pasta or something. The look of bliss on his face when he ate it was worth it to her.
****
It was a summer of record highs, some days even going over 110 degrees. It was still 104 degrees in September when Sara came to visit Natalie. As Sara drove with her air conditioner blasting on all cylinders, she wondered why this city attracted so many millions of visitors when it was stuck right in the middle of the desert. Walking anywhere in the heat made her feel like she was standing in a microwave. Whoever said Las Vegas was a dry heat, they'd never been there. If it wasn't for Grissom, she'd have nothing to do with this godforsaken town. Of course, she would have gone anywhere if he asked nicely, desert or not.
*****
From The One That Got Away -
He had a dream once. It was after a triple shift and one terrible migraine. When he finally was able to close his eyes, he dreamed about Sara Sidle. It was not the first time he dreamed about her, but this one was different. He dreamed they worked together for years and years, and while there was definite interest on both their parts, it took something drastic to finally get them together. It was the most frustrating dream he ever had.
When he woke up, he knew it was only a dream. Because it never would have taken years. If he was single when he met her for the first time, it would have taken days, if not hours. And if she was single when they met again, it would be the same story. It was always about timing. It was always about fate. And the dream was wrong, because it never would have happened like that. He was mad at his subconscious for even suggesting it could happen that way.
****
"You mentioned the body farm in your lecture. Is that a real place? I've heard about it before, but I thought it was too good to be true."
Grissom grinned. He said, "Oh, yes. Actually, they like it better when we refer to it as an "Anthropological Research Facility." Sounds less dangerous. It's run by the University of Tennessee, and it's actually quite a fascinating spectacle."
"I would love to see it some time," Sara said.
And I'd love to take you there some time, Grissom thought before making himself picture his wife and daughter. It was getting harder by the second. Sara Sidle was a very interesting woman, and he made a mental note to call Jack Martin and thank him for bringing her into his life.
****
And after the shift, they went back to her apartment where he rubbed her feet. She didn't have the heart to tell him how bad he was at foot massage, that it felt like he was trying to scrape her skin off or pehaps even break the bones of her foot.
As the relationship continued and all the natural mating rituals took place, she would think about the foot massage and how it seemed to define their relationship. In theory, it was a good idea, but in practice, it never felt like it should.
****
"Hey, Cath? I think Grissom took a file home that I need for shift tonight. Do you think it would be okay if I went over to his house to get it?"
Catherine stared at Sara, and Sara knew she could see right through her.
"Sara...I don't know if tonight would be the best night to satisfy your curiosities about his family. It's a holiday, he hasn't seen his daughter for a while, and maybe you should wait a day or two. Or maybe not at all, if you know what I mean."
Catherine knew exactly what Sara wanted to do, and truthfully, she didn't blame Sara. But Avery would eat her alive, and when she might have enjoyed that a few months ago, she developed a soft spot for this girl who replaced Holly. She was smart and attentive and picked up on things very easily. Oh, and she was completely in love with Gil Grissom and was quite terrible at hiding it. Catherine had to wonder about this husband of hers and what he must think about his wife being so far away.
"I just really need that file, Cath, and Grissom has the night off."
"I don't think it's a good idea. I can see that you're going to do it anyway, but just know this, Sara...Avery is very possessive of the things she thinks belong to her."
"But what if they don't belong to her anymore?" Sara asked hesitantly.
"It doesn't matter, because even if it used to be hers, it can't be anyone else's in her eyes. Especially if whatever--or whoever--wants the thing, already has a thing of her own."
The women both knew the conversation was getting ridiculous, so they dropped it. But they also both knew what Sara was going to do, whether it was a good idea or not.
****
I can seriously keep going because I love everything I write, I really am that dorky. Instead, I suppose I will go onto the next category thingy.
******
Notes and Thoughts
I haven't written this much of anything probably ever, and I am proud of myself for writing so much this year. Except it was all Grissom/Sara and the only time I tried to write something else, my story for Nanowrimo, I failed. I know more about the events surrounding Grissom and Sara's relationship than I ever thought possible. I can tell you every single episode that has GSR featured in it. I know my CSI backwards and forwards now, and I guess that can be good for something at some point, perhaps.
I guess it's just too easy. After I finish my WIP, I'm going to try to write original fiction. And if I don't, I want to write for other fandoms because I think I've written everything there is to write for CSI, at least in my mind. I want to write for Reaper, Pushing Daisies, maybe Life or Rescue Me. Something different. And with Sara gone from the show and the writer's strike depriving us of new things to talk about, I don't think not writing CSI fanfic will be a problem.
That being said, I really enjoyed writing what I did this year, and I'll look back and be proud of all the effort I put into it. In 2004, I wrote some truly bad stories, like my very first fic ever and my attempt at Sara/Warrick. So at least there's that. I wrote a lot, I figured out some of my flaws, I wrote a little better with each story I worked on, and I got a chance to be creative on a frequent basis. I can dig that. I just need to use that skill for something original so I can fulfill the dream I've had since I was 8 years old of being an author.
Okay, and this has taken me literally hours to write. It's sad when this is all you have to do on a Saturday night. That, or watch your boyfriend play Call of Duty 4.
Anyway. Yay fanfic! *collapses in exhausted heap on the bed, curling up with 2 very warm Boston Terriers*
So here's a fanfic meme. I stole it from Velocity because I'm bad like that.
All of these are for CSI. I started a Pushing Daisies fic a week ago that's really quite strange, and I want to write a Reaper fic, but everything here is CSI. It's all Grissom/Sara because I'm so original.
Big 'uns: I'd like to take a second to thank GSFanatic for beta-ing most of the big ones. She contacted me when I was writing Delicious Fury and ripped me a new one about how I characterized Grissom. I thought that was so awesome, I made her be my beta. She comes up with the most awesome ideas and talks me out of my more off the wall plots. She's my voice of reason, really.
Since I Met You - 59,735 words, 77 reviews (more on Geekfiction but too lazy to count, same goes for the rest of my multi-chapters), 20 chapters. My epic, my beautiful, beautiful epic. It never got the reviews it deserved, but it was still my baby and I still love it. It's about the GSR through the past, present and future, but it's also about Sara going back to California to see her mother, who is dying from a brain tumor. It took me 3 months to write, and I lurve it.
The One That Got Away - 33,259 words, 70 reviews, 12 chapters. My little AU fic about what would have happened if Holly survived her first night only to be taken by Natalie 7 years later, and only then did Grissom get a chance to call Sara in. Grissom was married when he met Sara, and then Sara was married when she came to Vegas to replace Holly. They get together, of course, but there are many complications in between. I heart this one. So much.
Full of Ghosts Tonight - 8,306 words so far, still a WIP. The sequel to The One That Got Away. This one is...how you say...not so popular at the moment. But there's only been 3 chapters and all of them have been terribly depressing, dealing with Sara losing her baby and everything. Hopefully the upcoming, less depressing chapters will be a little more popular.
Not Ready to Say Goodbye - 13,676 words, 10 chapters, 40 reviews. My first attempt since 2004 to write something. I wrote it quickly and didn't have a beta, but I really enjoyed writing it and people really seemed to enjoy reading it. It was a quick look at the ups and downs of Grissom and Sara's relationship through the years. For the longest time, this one always had more hits than Since I Met You, which drove me nuts!
Distraction - 14,722 words, 7 chapters, 19 reviews. This one is about, predictably, the distractions that got in the way of the relationship. The first couple of chapters deal with Sofia, the rest are about sabbaticals and such.
Delicious Fury - 6,749 words, 5 chapters, 3 reviews. Ah, Delicious Fury. It's my only unfinished WIP, because nobody seemed to like it in the slightest. The premise was that Lady Heather's husband was killed, and the CSIs have to figure out who did it. There was going to be this awesome GSR/Lady Heather triangle action, but nobody seemed to care. I want to finish it at some point.
One shots:
No Way of Knowing - 1,021 words, 8 reviews. I wrote this on Christmas just 'cause. It's a Butterflied post-ep, where Sara watches Grissom through the glass and has no way of knowing that in a year or two, everything would change.
Living Dead Girl - 5,799 words, 7 reviews. This was my post-Living Doll fic that I wrote off and on for like 3 months. It was long and I loved it and it only got 7 reviews, which made me a little sad, truthfully. I mean, I did post it the day before Dead Doll aired, so it wasn't exactly timely, but come on.
He Held My Hand - 1,082 words, 18 reviews. A Dead Doll post-ep with Sara reflecting on what Grissom holding her hand has meant to her at certain points in her life. I liked it. A lot of other people did, too.
Full Circle - 1,134 words, 9 reviews. A post-ep for Cross Dressing Carp, where Sara thinks about Grissom's proposal and compares it to when he said he needed her in Blood Lust all those years ago.
The Forest for the Trees - 826 words, 15 reviews. Secret Santa fic for Bestkeptprivate. Grissom gets Sara something special for Christmas.
Dallas - 3,117 words, 6 reviews. A little something for geekfiction's I Love the Eighties challenge. Sara really loves her some Dallas and uses it as a refuge in the crappy times of her life.
Why - 3,883 words, 8 reviews. Based on Grissom's quote in Cool Change about having so many unanswered whys.
This is About Us - 7 reviews. The folks over at TWoP wanted a fic about the team's reactions to GSR, so I wrote a little doohickey about it.
Resurrection - 4,077 words, 12 reviews. I actually learned a little something from this one! It was for the geekfiction Summer Reading challenge, and I learned all about Tolstoy.
Belle of the Ball - 1,640 words, 6 reviews. Sara gets all dressed up to go to the Law Enforcement Ball, and Gil shows up to out the relationship. A cute, fluffy one-shot.
May All Your Dreams Come True - 2,199 words, 7 reviews. A Time of Your Death post-ep, complete with fantasy fulfillment. Yum!
Don't Cry - 803 words, 3 reviews. A songfic based on Empty Eyes.
Pin Me Down Again - 2,922 words, 12gtfr4 g5n104hi reviews. An Invisible Evidence post-ep where they actually get it on instead of ignoring each other for a few years.
Don't Cry - 803 words, 3 reviews. Song fic, Empty Eyes post-ep.
Reaction - 796 words, 11 reviews. Written 5 minutes after watching Living Doll. It's, well, the reactions of everyone to Grissom's confession.
Favorite Story This Year: That would definitely be Since I Met You. It never got the reviews that I hoped for, but I accomplished my original intention, which was to put in story-form why I am so intrigued by that which is GSR. The people who liked it really, really liked it, and my beta loved it too, so that's good.
My Best Story This Year: The One That Got Away. It was AU and I didn't think anyone could care, but a lot of people did and it really made me happy. I think it's my best story because I was so careful to write it a way that would be interesting to people who wouldn't normally read AU. I experimented a lot, created my own little universe, and it worked well.
Most Fun Story: I think This is About Us, because I wrote it sort of on request and it was cute and mostly light-hearted.
Sexiest Story: May All Your Dreams Come True was pretty hot for a one-shot, but the sex scene I wrote in The One That Got Away, I think, was some pretty fine work. I mean, damn. (Check it out, it's in chapter 9!)
Hardest Story to Write: Full of Ghosts Tonight is a challenging WIP. There doesn't seem to be a lot of people reading it, and it's kind of a post-ep to Good-bye and Good Luck, but it's AU and it's a lot more depressing. Living Dead Girl was also pretty hard because there were SO MANY post-LD fics out there and I wanted mine to be good, if not better than most of them. And mine focused more on Sara's reaction to Natalie, which I didn't see in too many fics out there.
Easiest Story to Write: Since I wrote it a few days ago, No Way of Knowing comes to mind as being pretty darn easy. I was in an unrequited love kind of mood and what better to write about than Butterflied?
(I'm adding a category because I am such a special little review whore)
Story I wish got more reviews - I am really, really bad about reviews. I mean, I want them. I want a lot of them. In the hours after I write something, I check my email like 82 times an hour. And if something doesn't get any, I wonder what went wrong. Like Living Dead Girl. It was almost 6,000 words, it took me months to write, and nobody read it! And my AU baby, The One That Got Away, got 70 reviews and it was 12 chapters long, while Since I Met You was 20 chapters long and had 77 reviews. I still don't get it. And it still makes me a little sad.
Choice Lines -
Oh, boy. I am a fan of myself, so I can think of lots. Sad, right?
From Since I Met You:
They both woke up a few hours later with only one thing on their mind. This time, Grissom pinned her wrists down and entered her with an interesting aggressiveness that turned her on in a way she never experienced. And as she came again and again, she thought to herself, it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be like this.
****
"It may be longer then a week or two," she said softly, refusing to look at him.
"What do you mean? Why would you want to stay longer then that? You only have a week or two left of leave."
"Yeah, Grissom, I know that. I may just stay here. I've been talking to Martin and I think I may get my job back here. I think it would be good for me."
"Sara...the lab needs you. You're the best CSI we've got," he said, a silent pleading in his voice, a tinge of desperation.
And Sara was hurtled back 5 years to when she first presented him with her leave of absence. Just like back then he didn't say what both of them wanted him to say: I need you. Fuck the lab, I need you, god damn it!
"It sucks, doesn't it? To need something and not get it."
They looked at each other, pain permeating the atmosphere around them. They knew this place. They were comfortable in this place. It was the other part, the being together part, that was hard.
Sara wanted to be the first to walk away, but he surprised her. He walked away. And he didn't look back.
****
This is rock bottom, she thought. It has to be. When she came to Vegas, she had no idea it was going to be like this. Had she known, she would have spared everyone the trouble and stayed in San Francisco, where she obviously belonged. Maybe she and Chris would have been married by now, talking about kids with a gleam in their eye.
But she knew that wouldn't be the life for her. It had always been Gil Grissom, and even if she never did wind up with him, at least she went down fighting.
From Distraction -
He dreamed. He dreamed about waking up foggily, peeling the sleep out of his eyes, throwing some water on his face. He dreamed about getting in his car, driving to Sara's apartment and knocking loudly on her door. He dreamed about how she opened the door after a few minutes, having just woken up herself. He dreamed of staying silent and letting his hands do the talking. He dreamed of taking her hand, leading her inside her own apartment, pinning her against the wall and giving her a long, slow, passionate kiss that said anything he needed to say. He dreamed of her smiling, a smile so content and happy it made his heart ache. He dreamed of them moving to the bedroom, where they performed in bed what they had been dancing around for too many years to count. He dreamed of them falling asleep together, sweaty and satisfied.
****
Fortunately, Sara understood this. Well, most of the time. Sometimes she, too, got frustrated with the amount of time they spent together. But they were both workaholics, caught up in the game that was solving the crime. He admired her abilities, her attention to detail, her love of science. He also loved the curves of her body, the way she moved when they made love, the way she moaned when he kissed her earlobe, how she smiled at him when they both woke up from a long, much-needed sleep.
From May All Your Dreams Come True -
The doorbell rang. Sara grinned and opened the door.
"You're early--"
Gil Grissom came into Sara's townhouse, closed the door, locked it, and kissed her. He put his hands in her hair, pulled her close to him, and kissed her. Long and hard and short and sweet, with tongue, without tongue, biting her lip just a little bit. When she didn't slap his face right off his head, he pinned her against the door and kissed her even more. He didn't want to stop this kiss, this kiss that had been in the making for 10 years now. But when they both were struggling to breathe, they came up for air.
From Pin Me Down Again -
And there they were again. Like earlier, she had her hands up in the air, he had his hands around her waist. And instead of talking about the case, he leaned in closer to her. He looked her in the eye. She nodded, just a tiny nod. And he kissed her. With tongue. And it was sloppy, and it wasn't perfect, and it was the most amazing thing either of them never imagined. Within seconds, they were down on the floor, arms and legs and tongues tangled together in a complicated web. There was a bed somewhere in this house, they both knew, but neither of them wanted to stop kissing long enough to find it.
From Resurrection -
Sara followed him to the Denali and slid in the passenger seat. While he started the car, she looked at the book that was sitting in the console.
"War and Peace, huh? I never figured you a Tolstoy kind of guy."
"Why not? I have a bit of a soft spot for Russian writers. They always have a different perspective from everyone else."
"Hmm," she said, thumbing through the pages. "You know, Tolstoy's wife, the love of his life, was 16 years younger than him." She said this without looking at him, with a slightly mischievous smile forming on her lips.
Gil didn't need to do the math to know what Sara was saying in her Sara-way.
Oh, hell, he thought. I may never have a better opportunity. So he leaned over and he kissed her. They hadn't even left the parking lot, any one of their co-workers could have walked by to witness this miracle in the making, but Grissom couldn't let this opportunity pass him by.
From Living Dead Girl -
And so it occurred to her that Natalie left Sara for dead to get back at Grissom, and the anger mounted once again. Sara thought of how Grissom would feel if she died because of something he did. Grissom worried about her when she came home 10 minutes later then she said would, how would he feel if she disappeared, well, forever? He had high blood pressure. Stress caused his heart rate to sky rocket. If anything, she was mad at Natalie for stressing him out. After all this time, after all they'd been through together, to have their time cut short by a mentally unstable woman...it just wouldn't have been fair.
Because she and Grissom? They'd finally figured it out. They lived together. They brushed their teeth together. They took turns doing laundry. They had an understanding about sleep cuddling, which was they just didn't do it. Cuddling before and after was just fine, but during the sleeping process, it was off-limits. They just weren't sleep cuddlers. And sometimes, if Sara had a good day, she'd cook him a steak while she just make herself some pasta or something. The look of bliss on his face when he ate it was worth it to her.
****
It was a summer of record highs, some days even going over 110 degrees. It was still 104 degrees in September when Sara came to visit Natalie. As Sara drove with her air conditioner blasting on all cylinders, she wondered why this city attracted so many millions of visitors when it was stuck right in the middle of the desert. Walking anywhere in the heat made her feel like she was standing in a microwave. Whoever said Las Vegas was a dry heat, they'd never been there. If it wasn't for Grissom, she'd have nothing to do with this godforsaken town. Of course, she would have gone anywhere if he asked nicely, desert or not.
From The One That Got Away -
He had a dream once. It was after a triple shift and one terrible migraine. When he finally was able to close his eyes, he dreamed about Sara Sidle. It was not the first time he dreamed about her, but this one was different. He dreamed they worked together for years and years, and while there was definite interest on both their parts, it took something drastic to finally get them together. It was the most frustrating dream he ever had.
When he woke up, he knew it was only a dream. Because it never would have taken years. If he was single when he met her for the first time, it would have taken days, if not hours. And if she was single when they met again, it would be the same story. It was always about timing. It was always about fate. And the dream was wrong, because it never would have happened like that. He was mad at his subconscious for even suggesting it could happen that way.
****
"You mentioned the body farm in your lecture. Is that a real place? I've heard about it before, but I thought it was too good to be true."
Grissom grinned. He said, "Oh, yes. Actually, they like it better when we refer to it as an "Anthropological Research Facility." Sounds less dangerous. It's run by the University of Tennessee, and it's actually quite a fascinating spectacle."
"I would love to see it some time," Sara said.
And I'd love to take you there some time, Grissom thought before making himself picture his wife and daughter. It was getting harder by the second. Sara Sidle was a very interesting woman, and he made a mental note to call Jack Martin and thank him for bringing her into his life.
****
And after the shift, they went back to her apartment where he rubbed her feet. She didn't have the heart to tell him how bad he was at foot massage, that it felt like he was trying to scrape her skin off or pehaps even break the bones of her foot.
As the relationship continued and all the natural mating rituals took place, she would think about the foot massage and how it seemed to define their relationship. In theory, it was a good idea, but in practice, it never felt like it should.
****
"Hey, Cath? I think Grissom took a file home that I need for shift tonight. Do you think it would be okay if I went over to his house to get it?"
Catherine stared at Sara, and Sara knew she could see right through her.
"Sara...I don't know if tonight would be the best night to satisfy your curiosities about his family. It's a holiday, he hasn't seen his daughter for a while, and maybe you should wait a day or two. Or maybe not at all, if you know what I mean."
Catherine knew exactly what Sara wanted to do, and truthfully, she didn't blame Sara. But Avery would eat her alive, and when she might have enjoyed that a few months ago, she developed a soft spot for this girl who replaced Holly. She was smart and attentive and picked up on things very easily. Oh, and she was completely in love with Gil Grissom and was quite terrible at hiding it. Catherine had to wonder about this husband of hers and what he must think about his wife being so far away.
"I just really need that file, Cath, and Grissom has the night off."
"I don't think it's a good idea. I can see that you're going to do it anyway, but just know this, Sara...Avery is very possessive of the things she thinks belong to her."
"But what if they don't belong to her anymore?" Sara asked hesitantly.
"It doesn't matter, because even if it used to be hers, it can't be anyone else's in her eyes. Especially if whatever--or whoever--wants the thing, already has a thing of her own."
The women both knew the conversation was getting ridiculous, so they dropped it. But they also both knew what Sara was going to do, whether it was a good idea or not.
I can seriously keep going because I love everything I write, I really am that dorky. Instead, I suppose I will go onto the next category thingy.
******
Notes and Thoughts
I haven't written this much of anything probably ever, and I am proud of myself for writing so much this year. Except it was all Grissom/Sara and the only time I tried to write something else, my story for Nanowrimo, I failed. I know more about the events surrounding Grissom and Sara's relationship than I ever thought possible. I can tell you every single episode that has GSR featured in it. I know my CSI backwards and forwards now, and I guess that can be good for something at some point, perhaps.
I guess it's just too easy. After I finish my WIP, I'm going to try to write original fiction. And if I don't, I want to write for other fandoms because I think I've written everything there is to write for CSI, at least in my mind. I want to write for Reaper, Pushing Daisies, maybe Life or Rescue Me. Something different. And with Sara gone from the show and the writer's strike depriving us of new things to talk about, I don't think not writing CSI fanfic will be a problem.
That being said, I really enjoyed writing what I did this year, and I'll look back and be proud of all the effort I put into it. In 2004, I wrote some truly bad stories, like my very first fic ever and my attempt at Sara/Warrick. So at least there's that. I wrote a lot, I figured out some of my flaws, I wrote a little better with each story I worked on, and I got a chance to be creative on a frequent basis. I can dig that. I just need to use that skill for something original so I can fulfill the dream I've had since I was 8 years old of being an author.
Okay, and this has taken me literally hours to write. It's sad when this is all you have to do on a Saturday night. That, or watch your boyfriend play Call of Duty 4.
Anyway. Yay fanfic! *collapses in exhausted heap on the bed, curling up with 2 very warm Boston Terriers*
