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Jar of Hearts
Mar. 21st, 2011 07:39 pmSo I guess this is the time where I timidly come to LJ and say..."LOL, NOT REALLY."
I've been avoiding writing this because all of you were so awesome and said such encouraging things. Buttt here's the deal. I am not an asshole. I can't sit there and listen to my boyfriend cry on the phone. I can't listen to him talk about how I never told him how I felt. It's true. I took our fight last week as an out. It was a dumb fight and we would have gotten over it in mere hours if I hadn't decided I was going to just end it. He deserves a chance. Sooo. We're giving it another try. I told him about my fears about having babies and getting married and the future. And, well, we didn't solve that one. I'm still worried about these things. But at least he knows this now and if we have another meltdown, then...
I know, it's not a good explanation. But it's the only one I have. I'm not perfect. I just need to really start focusing on what I need to do for the future instead of focusing on what I'm lacking to prepare for the future. I've really started working on my novel! And I started looking for a new job. And I know I have to do something about my health, that's just the hardest part for some reason. But things are going to change. I'm so very optimistic about this. And we are totally going to Big Bend in a few weeks and I'm excited because of all the photography opportunities I'll have there. He'll geek out with the telescope and I'll geek out with my camera. It's a win-win situation!
So...that's that. Thank you for all your comments. I appreciate the support.
In other news, on Saturday I heard the song "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri for the first time. I have since downloaded it and listened to it at least 20 times. I don't know why. I'm just completely obsessed with it. It now lives in my heart. Urmm GNR was finally confirmed for Rock in Rio, yay. I love my Kindle so much. I know it contributed to the downfall of Borders and I'm sad about that, but I'm reading so much more these days and that's important to my life. Sorry, Borders.
Oh! I have a question, if you are still with me. I started writing my novel in third person, but then I had a change of heart and I think it might work better in first person. So I'm going to include a paragraph here and if you would be so kind as to tell me which one is better, I will give you internet cookies.
Third Person:
Actually, her son knew her better than she thought. Because he looked at her, looked at the TV, said, "Oh, Ashes to Dust," and returned to his textbook. It was never her intention to have her kids know about the history with Ashton Williams, but it all came out over the years, especially when Anastasia found the magazine article Antara had hidden within the bowels of her closet. The article, from the early nineties, was called "The many loves of Ash" and Antara was the star. Sure, there were many lovers in Ash's history, but Antara was the love of his life, so the magazine asserted.
First Person:
Actually, my son knows me better than I thought. Because he looked at me, looked at the TV, said, "Oh, Ashes to Dust," and returned to his textbook. It was never my intention to have my kids know about the history with Ashton Williams, but it all came out over the years, especially when Anastasia found the magazine article I had carefully hidden within the bowels of my closet. The article, from the early nineties, was called "The many loves of Ash" and I was the star. Sure, there were many lovers in Ash's history, but I, according to the writer of the article, was the love of his life.
I think I prefer the first person. But I just wanted LJ's opinion on the subject. This is it, you guys. This is the novel that I am basing the entirety of my future on, because that's always fun. But this idea has been in my head for maybe four years now, so I'm excited. As always, thank you for caring.
In 10 minutes, I'm going to put my work out clothes on. Yes, I am. It's going to happen. I'm going to the gym. And you can't stop me.
I've been avoiding writing this because all of you were so awesome and said such encouraging things. Buttt here's the deal. I am not an asshole. I can't sit there and listen to my boyfriend cry on the phone. I can't listen to him talk about how I never told him how I felt. It's true. I took our fight last week as an out. It was a dumb fight and we would have gotten over it in mere hours if I hadn't decided I was going to just end it. He deserves a chance. Sooo. We're giving it another try. I told him about my fears about having babies and getting married and the future. And, well, we didn't solve that one. I'm still worried about these things. But at least he knows this now and if we have another meltdown, then...
I know, it's not a good explanation. But it's the only one I have. I'm not perfect. I just need to really start focusing on what I need to do for the future instead of focusing on what I'm lacking to prepare for the future. I've really started working on my novel! And I started looking for a new job. And I know I have to do something about my health, that's just the hardest part for some reason. But things are going to change. I'm so very optimistic about this. And we are totally going to Big Bend in a few weeks and I'm excited because of all the photography opportunities I'll have there. He'll geek out with the telescope and I'll geek out with my camera. It's a win-win situation!
So...that's that. Thank you for all your comments. I appreciate the support.
In other news, on Saturday I heard the song "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri for the first time. I have since downloaded it and listened to it at least 20 times. I don't know why. I'm just completely obsessed with it. It now lives in my heart. Urmm GNR was finally confirmed for Rock in Rio, yay. I love my Kindle so much. I know it contributed to the downfall of Borders and I'm sad about that, but I'm reading so much more these days and that's important to my life. Sorry, Borders.
Oh! I have a question, if you are still with me. I started writing my novel in third person, but then I had a change of heart and I think it might work better in first person. So I'm going to include a paragraph here and if you would be so kind as to tell me which one is better, I will give you internet cookies.
Third Person:
Actually, her son knew her better than she thought. Because he looked at her, looked at the TV, said, "Oh, Ashes to Dust," and returned to his textbook. It was never her intention to have her kids know about the history with Ashton Williams, but it all came out over the years, especially when Anastasia found the magazine article Antara had hidden within the bowels of her closet. The article, from the early nineties, was called "The many loves of Ash" and Antara was the star. Sure, there were many lovers in Ash's history, but Antara was the love of his life, so the magazine asserted.
First Person:
Actually, my son knows me better than I thought. Because he looked at me, looked at the TV, said, "Oh, Ashes to Dust," and returned to his textbook. It was never my intention to have my kids know about the history with Ashton Williams, but it all came out over the years, especially when Anastasia found the magazine article I had carefully hidden within the bowels of my closet. The article, from the early nineties, was called "The many loves of Ash" and I was the star. Sure, there were many lovers in Ash's history, but I, according to the writer of the article, was the love of his life.
I think I prefer the first person. But I just wanted LJ's opinion on the subject. This is it, you guys. This is the novel that I am basing the entirety of my future on, because that's always fun. But this idea has been in my head for maybe four years now, so I'm excited. As always, thank you for caring.
In 10 minutes, I'm going to put my work out clothes on. Yes, I am. It's going to happen. I'm going to the gym. And you can't stop me.
