January 20th 2004

January 20th is an important day for me over here in Lizzieland. Let me present to you, my viewing audience, a reinactment of two important events in my life.

JANUARY 20th, 1993:

Eddie: Hi, I'm Eddie! I have a really hideous mullet and bad acne! My dad occasionaly likes to beat the crap out of me so you'll probably have to call 911 sometimes. I'm also the biggest liar on the face of the planet! Oh yeah, and also, I'm 15 years old and about to drop out of school so that I can lead a life of impregnanting random girls and running from police. I'm your parents' worst nightmare! Wanna make out?

Me: Hi Eddie, I'm Liz! I'm 13 years old and I have no idea what the hell goes on in this world around me, but I'm horny and all my friends have boyfriends, so sure! Just try not to notice my awkward hairstyle, my complete social retardation, my inability to dress properly, and my nifty little Guns N Roses hat that I wear all the time! Let's make out!

And so I had my first boyfriend ever. My first kiss by the One Way Sign on the street across from my junior high school.

Memories.. of the way we were.

JANUARY 20TH, 1997:

Josh: Hi, I'm Josh! I'm a terrible person who is going to rob you of your innocence and spirit! I'm 15 years old, 2 years younger than you. My family is the definition of White Trash and I try to live up to that reputation every day of my life. We fight all the time, and I'm getting more possesive of you by each passing minute, so hey, wanna have sex on MLK day when your mom isn't home?

Me: OF COURSE! Why wouldn't I want to sleep with an asshole that not only beat the crap of out of me physically, but also drained me emotionally? Why wouldn't I give my virginity up to someone as dangerous and crazy as you are, causing me to question myself and everything about myself for the next 5 or 6 years? We've known each other for 2 WHOLE MONTHS, that's enough, right?

And there goes my virginity, and a lot of self respect!

WOOHOO! January 20th rocks.

Also, may I present to you the newest member of the family. His name is Al. And he confirms the fact that there is nothing in this world that's cuter than a Golden Retreiver puppy.

January 20th 2004

In case you missed it:

So anyway, it's time for an always popular pop culture update. I know we're all excited.

1. This show I'm watching on VH1 right now.. "When Metal Ruled the World".. is the greatest show ever. Taime Down, Vince Neil, Riki Rachtman, Sebastian Bach... such greatness. I think I was born 15 years too late. I didn't really get to enjoy the late 80's/early 90's like one was really supposed to enjoy it. I wanna be a groupie. Tawny Kitaen! Woohoo!

2. I never got to mention it, but fuck me, Cold Mountain is one rocktacular movie. I've seen it twice, and the end still makes me crazy. I mean.. they only got one night together! How sad is that!

*sniff*

3. That song by Simple Plan about sorry he can't be perfect... I have to admit to loving that song. At first, I turned it off when it came on because I thought it was Good Charlotte. But then when I found out it wasn't, I begrudingly gave it a chance, but I'd still turn it off because I was ashamed. But now? I turn it up and sing along, because I just can't help it. It's a good song!

That is all.

I'm moving in 2 days! Wooohooo.