Dec. 13th, 2001

lizwontcry: (sky)
Whoever thought 8AM finals were a good idea should be shot.

Because I have to wake up at 6AM just to start studying!

Today's all day studying didn't quite go as planned. In the hours before 3:30, I was caught up in trying to buy Guns N Roses tickets, consequently putting me $435 in debt. But I couldn't do it because apparently I was overdue on both my credit cards, so I have to wait until tomorrow.

At 3:30 I went to an editorial meeting for the newspaper. I'm scared to death of this job, is what it comes out to. I'm really excited about it, don't get me wrong. I'll meet lots of new people and have lots of new experiences and gain experience and all that, but it seems scary. I have to write 5 stories a week! And I have to start writing reviews on shows and stuff! I don't go to shows. But now I'm going to. Which is cool, I guess. It just seems a little intimidating.

But I'm happy. I have a job, I'm getting paid for it, I was picked out of alot of other people that applied. The editor even said "I had to make a lot of hard choices, and the people in this room right now are very talented and have the right qualifications for the job." That made me very happy. Like I had finally accomplished something for once.

Anyway! After the meeting, I went to the library to study. My former roommate joined me, and since we hadn't seen each other in so long, we had to catch up! For three hours, we made a big mess on the table, we laughed like silly goons, we burped, we farted, we talked about wanting to get some of our creative writing teacher (she had him in a class before I did.. I was so relieved that she shared my thoughts on how sexy he is, because really, he's old and looks like a pug, but there's something about him) but we didn't study. Which is bad because I have two finals tomorrow and the grade I get will pretty much determine how I do in the class, but good because we had fun and having fun is what matters, isn't it?

I like the library, it's pretty nifty. There's like, 1 sign, that says "No food or drinks" but no one pays attention. There's food and drinks all over the place. I really like that about the library. And also, it stays open 24 hours during finals, which I find to be rather convienent, even if I don't take advantage of it.

BB has decided to see me again. Isn't that gracious of him? It's basically because he's a horny male. Silly horny males!

Oh my god. Finals. Must. Die. Tomorrow at 11 AM I will officially be through with this semester. Thank the lord and god almighty!

lizwontcry: (threesome)
You have purchased 2 ticket(s) for:

Venue: Hard Rock Hotel

Location: Las Vegas, NV

Date & Time: Monday, December 31, 2001 10:00PM

Your Tickets: SECTION FLOOR, ROW GA2, SEATS 86 TO 87

# of Tickets: 2

Total Paid: 435.05

Delivery Method: Will Call

HEWITT*SILVA PRESENTS

GUNS N ROSES

JOINT @ HARD ROCK HOTEL

BUDWEISER CONCERT SERIES

CASINO ENT.TAX INC.

MON DEC 31,2001 10:00PM

I am now $435 more in debt.

I hope Axl appreciates it.

lizwontcry: (so close)
Thank the holy lord in heaven, I'm finished with the semester.

*sigh of relief* whoooosshhhhh....

I think I actually did awesome on my American Legal System test. That was a big one. But I think I failed my Abnormal Psych, which was a big one too.

But how can I be expected to pay attention when I'm going to the Guns N Roses concert? Huh? Huh?

Thanks to all the nice people who left me messages of support. Yes, it is very exciting, but I'm driving there in my stupid car, which will take like.. a day. And then we don't really have a place to stay. My dad said he didn't want me to go, but as I think about that, it makes me want to go more. He said he didn't want me to go when I was 12 years old, too, and for the past 10 years I have thought of that as one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.

So, the point is, I don't care that we don't have a place to stay. I don't care that I'm $435 in debt. I don't care that I have drive a 2500 miles round trip. Because it's important to me! It's motherfuckin Axl Rose! Good god!

Anyway.. no more school until January 7th, when I have to go for a week of training for my NEW JOB.

Wow.. I seem to have a lot of good things going on for me right now.

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER!

Okay, so here's the story I read out loud to my Creative Writing class. I'm going to post it, along with a few others, over here! Hey, it's good times.

AXL COUNT: 19 DAYS!

_____________________________________________

*Rock and Roll Fantasy*

I tapped my fingers nervously on the back of chair, counting down the seconds. The audience was starting to get rowdy, but I had blocked them out hours ago. My friends tried talking to me, but I didn’t hear them. All I could see was the stage in front of me. In mere minutes, my dreams would come true.

Finally, the lights were turned off. A soft yellow spotlight came on. The loud notes of a slightly out of tune guitar could be heard backstage. I could feel my heart start to beat out of control.

And then, there he was. He came out, holding his hand out in front of his eyes to see the throngs of fans that were waiting for him.

I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t find my voice. I want to stand up, jump up and down, do anything, but I couldn’t feel my legs.

He looked a little different. He had put on about 20 pounds since the last picture I had seen of him in a magazine, and he had aged a few years. His hair, once a striking shade of red, was now dirty blonde. But it was him.

That’s when I started to scream. That’s when the tears started pouring down my face. That’s when I realized that this was my dream come true.

He didn’t introduce himself or his band; he just started into the songs I knew so well. They were the songs that had mesmerized me ever since I was 12 years old. The songs that touched me in places no one had ever been before.

I screamed along with the songs that I knew every word to. I might have looked a little peculiar, standing there crying and screaming and staring lustfully at him. People might have pointed at me. They might have giggled and whispered to their friends, “Look at that crazy woman in the first row!” But I didn’t notice, and if I had noticed, I wouldn’t have cared.

During “Ghosts in the Mirror”, one of my favorite songs, he glanced down at me and smiled. I felt my heart skip a beat, and had to gain my composure so I wouldn’t go tumbling to the hard concrete floor.

As he sang, I imagined myself running my fingers over the tattoos on his arm. I could picture myself running my hand through his long, tangled hair and stroking his leg in his trademark leather pants.

A few times, I had to wonder if I was really there. I made a promise to myself when I was 12 years old that I would someday see him live, in person. It didn’t matter how, or where, but it would happen. And here I was.

The songs continued, and he looked down at me a few more times. Each time he did, I screamed louder. I knew I probably looked like an ass, but I didn’t care. It was Charlie Stone, and I was in love with him.

****

My obsession with Charlie has started at an early age. At the tender age of 12, I heard my first song by his band, the Stone Crabs. By week’s end, I had pictures of him covering the walls of my childhood bedroom. My mom would just look at it and shake her head.

When I was 14, I won tickets to see them live, but I was not allowed to go. My father was strict, and couldn’t imagine letting his little girl go to a Stone Crabs concert. I locked myself in my room for 4 days, not even coming out for food. That’s when I promised myself that someday, I would see Charlie Stone.

That’s why I found myself traipsing to Las Vegas. I had to borrow money from everyone I knew, and I had to work double shifts for a month, but I did it. I got on a plane to the desert to see my rock and roll fantasy.

When the show was over, I lurked around the stage for a while, trying to catch a glimpse. When I realized this wasn’t going to do any good, I left the building and started my search for Charlie.

I walked over to the busses and chatted with the drivers, but they didn’t give me any information. I circled around, waiting for him to show up. I took a taxi to the hotel that I knew he was staying in, but to no avail.

I was hungry, tired, and lost, and I was about to give up. I started to walk away from the hotel when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I looked behind me, and almost melted into a puddle of my own drool.

It was Charlie.

“Looking for me?” He asked.

****

As he took my hand and led me up to his hotel room, I tried to make excuses for myself. I’m not a groupie, I would tell him. I just want to talk, really, I would say.

And as he smiled at me as I ripped off his clothes and threw him on the bed, I made more excuses. “It’s Charlie Stone. Who the hell cares if I’m a trashy slut or not!”

And as we were having wild animal sex, all the excuses slipped out of my mind.

****

I knew when I woke up in the morning that he’d be gone. I knew I would tell all my friends about it, and they wouldn’t believe me. I knew it would just be a memory, and only I could know how much it meant.

So I didn’t quite expect what I saw on the pillow when I woke up.

The note said:

“You are a rose in a field of thorns

You were an angel that was never born

You spread your wings and fly my way

You look up at me, tears in your eyes, and say..

‘The stars have formed for you and me

The clouds and moons are here to see

That we find each other in destiny.’

And so it goes

And so we flow

Into the river of misty rain

And if you want to love me, then darling don't refrain.”

I gasped. It was a quote I knew well, from my favorite song. Below the quote had his phone number. And so my relationship with my childhood hero began.

****

It was a rough life. He was always on the road and in the studio, and never really had much time for me. I didn’t care. He made all my dreams come true. He bought me a new house, a new car, a new life. I lost contact with my friends and family, but I was sure they understand. How could they not? It was Charlie Stone, after all.

He wrote songs about me, beautiful songs with orchestra accompaniment. I was his muse, and he was my hero.

****

One day, I asked him why he chose me. It had been on my mind for a while, but he was so busy that I never got to ask him.

“Because you were screaming louder than everyone else. I knew you were the one for me, since you knew the songs better than I did. Plus, you were one smoking babe.” I giggled. He always was a charmer.

One day, I was hanging out in his hotel with him, and someone knocked on the door. He was busy writing songs, so I answered it.

A young blond in a mini skirt and tank top glanced up at me with disgust.

“Is Charlie here? I need to talk to him.”

“Um no, I’m his girlfriend, can I help you?” I asked, cattily.

She stared at me for a long time, looking me up and down, and said, “You can’t be his girlfriend. I am. And I’m much better looking than you.”

“Okay, you asked for this,” I said. I closed the door and turned on the radio. A Stone Crab song was on. How ironic, I thought to myself.

I grabbed little miss tank top by the hair and threw her on the floor. I kicked her in the head and shouted “He’s mine, god damnit! You only wish he was yours!”

She grabbed my leg and pulled me down, and started punching me in the face. I felt a warm, sticky mess run down my face. I knew she made me bleed, that trashy groupie whore.

I pulled her hair and started choking her, while she tried to poke me in the eye. We were rolling around on the ground when finally Charlie emerged from his song writing shell.

When he witnessed what was happening, he started laughing. We both looked up at him, wondering what the hell he was giggling about.

“Do either of you obviously think you were the only one? I’m a rock star! Of course you aren’t the only one!”

The blonde and I looked at each other and nodded. We both jumped on top of him and beat the crap out of him. As I was about to kick him square in the crotch, I thought to myself, “Hmm, maybe he wasn’t so heroic after all.”

lizwontcry: (pin me down)
I know this is alot of entries today, but now that school is over I'm going to get over my one entry a day limit that I set for myself. Tee hee!

The more I think about this concert, the more excited I get. I was a little guilty at first for being so indulgent. Mostly because my dad said he'd rather I didn't go. But then I thought about it, and I watched the video tape again where I was 12 years old and just beginning my obsession. It was New Years Eve, 1991. And I came to a conclusion. I absolutly, totally, owe this to myself. I've been a loyal fan of Guns N Roses for exactly 10 years. That's a long time to be obsessed with something. But this is a spiritual journey. I might have to drive all the way to Las Vegas, I might have to work really hard to pay the bill that I racked up, but it will be worth it. Oh my god, it will be SO fucking worth it. It will be the defining moment in my life.

I realize how totally dorky that sounds, but we all have something in our lives that we have to do or else we won't feel whole. For me, it's fulfilling the promise I made to myself when I was 12 years old to see Axl Rose live and in person. My dad tells me, "Wait until they come to Dallas, I'll buy you tickets then." That's what he said when I was 12 and actually had tickets. "You're too young. Wait until next time." Well, it's next time. It's 10 years later, they still haven't been back, the tour I missed was the last tour they had, and I'm not going to take that chance again. I am going to drive 2500 miles to see my rock and roll hero, god damnit!

Sorry about that. I'm a little passionate about the subject.

So, now I introduce to you: Things I learned this semester!

1. Procrastination is bad. You will drive yourself crazy and want to tear everyone's hair out.

2. Diaryland offers an interesting diversion.

3. Creative Writing teachers, even if they are 56 years old and resembles a pug, are sexy.

4. I can write well. I am going to work for the newspaper!

5. I am not an all-nighter kind of person. The latest I can stay up studying is 1 AM. After that, I'm not functional.

6. Hardcore porn in class is actually kind of awkward!

7. Abnormal psychology is really boring.

8. BLT's and Cheesesticks at Sonic are really good!

9. Korean roommates really tend to sleep alot.

10. McDonalds Bagel Breakfast Sandwiches are not your friend, nor are they your bowels' friend.

11. Research projects that pay $218 for 6 months work is almost worth it.

12. Tickets to concert - $435. Gas to drive to Las Vegas and back - $300. Seeing Axl in person with BB by my side - Priceless.

So me and BB hadn't seen each other in almost 2 weeks. So we have a marathon nookie session. And I'm so seriously not kidding when I say he fell asleep right after we were finished. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. When he woke up, I made him watch old home movies. We saw one where I was at the height of my goodlookingness, when I was 15, and it was a little shocking, because my brother asked me, "So, what do you want?" And I said, "I want to lose weight, make friends, and get a life!" It's just funny. It's always the same things that we want from life, and we're always seeking them, no matter where we are or what we're doing. Or maybe that's just me.

I'm going to see Guns N Roses! OOOOOHHH!!!

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