September 22nd 2001

Well, I returned the nice new Corolla and got my big stupid SUV back. I really wanted an SUV once, but now that I've driven mine for a year and then drove the nice Corolla, I don't want it anymore. I used to lust after trucks hardcore, but I think I'm over that. An era in my life has come to an end! How sad.

*****

Okay, so I don't really know alot about politics. Like, last year, I voted for Ralph Nader because I didn't like Bush's views on pretty much anything, and I didn't like Gore's wife. My dislike for her started when I was 12 and the record industry had to put those "Warning:Explicit Lyrics" stickers on all the albums I wanted to buy. So if I sound ignorant, I probably am, and I'm sorry.

I can't stand listening to Dubya talk. I know we're supposed to rally behind him and be supportive and everything, but I just can't agree with all this war talk. What would a war prove? It'll just kill thousands of people that shouldn't have to die. We just want fucking Osama bin Laden, yes? Then why do we have to go after all the other people? It just seems really unneccesary to me, although I can't really come up with anything better.

And also, I have a hard time believing him when he talks. He sounds so.. fake. Like he's reading it off something, which he is. Like someone else wrote it for him, which they did. But it's just not very reassuring to me.

*****

I went to my grandmother's today, which I really should do more often. There's just way too much drama. The latest drama is that my aunt seems to be on drugs and my grandmother, who's 80, is getting a little annoyed. And when I say "aunt", I mean, "person who's my mom's half-sister who I can't be in the same room with for more than an hour without wanting to run far, far away." But anyway. My grandmother rules. She was telling me all about how crazy Mariah Carey was. I hope I'm like that when I'm 80.

*****

I have to clean out my car today. It's just really gross.. last year, I left Dr. Pepper in my car for a while, and it exploded from the heat, and I haven't even cleaned it up yet. Isn't that nice to have such a blatant disregard for my vehicle? It's a little depressing that I let it get so dirty.

*****

I'm watching Wayne's World right now. It rocks my socks!

*****

I went to another small town high school football game last night. Fortunately, I brought a book and didn't pay attention to the game at all, but it was fun. What is it about small towns that bring out all the extremely good looking people? Wow.

*****

Okay, well, it's time to clean my car out now. That's a scary, daunting task, and if you don't hear from me by Monday, you should come looking.

September 22nd 2001

I stole this from Davey cuz he's so cute.

Have you ever....

Been kissed? I'm a kissing whore!

Done drugs? I think I tried to smoke some pot once, on my 19th birthday, and then I got hungry for hot dogs. But that's about it.

Eaten an entire box of Oreos? No, but bring me some Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies.. watch out

Been on stage? A few times. Once, in a play for Peer Helpers, I played a girl who was addicted to drugs and I got chased around by people in T-shirts that said "Cocaine" and "marijuana" on them.

Dumped someone else? Yes. It's a necessary evil sometines.

Gotten in a car accident? Four of them, and every single one was my fault. I failed driver's ed the first time I took it, what do you expect?

Been in love? Dare I say that I am in love right now? I dare.

In the last week, have you...

(This was originally "in the last 24 hours, but I changed it just because I can.)

Cried? Oooh yes. I couldn't stop crying a few days this week. It was a bad week.

Helped someone? Ummm yah.. I think so.

Bought something? I've bought lots of things this week. But today I bought some Whataburger and some Armor all to clean my car.

Gotten sick? Yeah, I threw up cuz I was crying so much. That's no fun.

Gone to the movies? Not this week.

Gone out for dinner? No, and I'm hungry. I think I might get Subway.

Said "I love you"? Yes, I have several times in the last week. I can't go to bed without telling BB that I love him, it's just a thing I have.

Written a real letter? No way. Email rules! Umm yeah.

Talked to an ex? Kinda.. if you count my best guy friend an ex.. we dated but yah.. I don't count him.

Missed an ex? No, but I thought about one pretty hardcore, because he lives about 5 minutes from my grandmother.

Written in a journal? I have, as a matter of fact! When I was going crazy at the car dealership cuz it was taking them 6 hours and my dad was yelling at me and I was uhh.. frustrated.

Talked to someone you have a crush on? Well, if you count BB as someone I have a crush on. Which I do. :)

Had a serious talk? Yeah, with my mom, and my dad, and myself.

Missed someone? Yeah.

Hugged someone? Oh yes.

Fought with your parents? Yeah. My dad's not happy about paying $1000 to fix my car. Gee, I wonder why.

Fought with a friend? Yeah, BB and I had a little fight about being late for something, but then we ate Taco Cabana and it was good.

Do you...

Wear eye shadow? I'm not a big fan of make up in general.

Kiss on the first date? Sometimes, errr, among other things.

Have a crush on someone? My silly boyfriend!

Chew with your mouth open? I have been known to do that at times.

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Hard to believe, but our 4 year anniversary is next month. I met him when I was 17! And now I'm going to be 22! Wow.

Have a best friend? I've had about 3 or 4 best friends in my life, and they've all moved on, but that's okay. Right now, BB is the bestest friend I could ask for. He keeps me in line and makes me keep my shit together, whether I like it or not.

Are you tired? Sorta kinda. I woke up at 7:30 AM cuz yeah.

Are you lonely? Not at this moment.

Are you happy? Well, kinda. I'm coming out of my depression, at least.

Are you wearing pajamas? Nope.. blue jeans and a t shirt.

Are you talking to someone online? Not at the moment.

either/or...

Coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate. But I prefer Dr. Pepper as a beverage, thank you.

Big or little? Big all the way, babeh.

Lace or satin? Satin!

New or old? Old

Neve Campbell or Jennifer Love Hewitt? Lordy.. this is like.. snakes or crickets? Umm.. Neve Campbell.

Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt. But only in Legends of the Fall. Or Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2. But thats all.

Vogue or Material Girl? Vogue

Jeans or cords? Jeans.

Sweater or sweatshirt?Sweater. Sweatshirts look funky on me.

T shirt or tank top? T shirt, although it would be a tank top if, you know, stuff.

Skirt or dress? I haven't worn a dress since junior high school.

Wool or cotton? Cotton.

Rose or Lily? I lurrvvee Roses. But Lily is the name of one of my doggies, so I don't know.

Dominant or submissive? Submissive. Oooh yeah.

If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would it be? I'd get a rose on my ankle. Horribly unorginal, I know, but roses are important to me. Urm, Axl ROSE. And umm.. ROSE from the Golden Girls. And the song THE ROSE by Better Midler. And just what it represents. But I don't think I'll ever get one.

What color is your floor/carpet in your room? I don't have carpet, it's a dorm room.

What was the last CD you bought? Eva Cassidy, Song Bird

How did you spend last summer? Going to school, having a crush on my math student teacher, who had man boobs. And then looking for a job, but not that hard, because I'm a lazy bitch.

What are you reading now? On the Road, Jack Kerouac, and Catcher in the Rye.

What song are you listening to right now? I'm not listening to any songs, I'm watching Mr. Holland's Opus. (Remember when we saw that, Ali-Kat? It was good times.)

Fashion

Do you wear a watch? No.

How many coats and jackets do you own? Two

Most expensive item of clothing: I would say my leather jacket, but it's not real leather. Shhh, don't tell anyone. Probably my Docs. Those there are some expensive shoes, and I have like 6 pairs of them.

Most treasured: I don't have any treasured clothes.

Boots or shoes: Boots!

Scruffy or smart: scruffy.

Your personality (general)

Extrovert or introvert: introvert

Are you confident: I'm confident that I'm a pretty good writer, and that I have a way with animals, and other stuff, but really.. I'd have to say no.

Do you like yourself? No.

Are you popular? Sometimes.

Are you good academically? I have a 2.7 GPA right now. So I guess that would be a.. no.

What do you have a really good knowledge of? Pop culture, dogs, high school football, WWF from 1997-1999, Axl Rose, Journalism, how to make some good fajitas.

Are you good at games which rely on intellect? I am a good trivia player, especially Rock and Roll Jeopardy. I can beat anyone at anytime at that. But like.. tic tac toe and crap like that, I'm not good.

Fictional character you are most like: Not so much right now, but I used to be Angela Chase from My So Called Life. I went through everything she did at every point that she did it. Good lord, do I love that show!

Things friends say to you the most: "Can you come pick me up? I locked my keys in the car/ran out of gas/broke down on Lake Lewisville/don't have working windshield wipers and it's raining."

Can you speak another language? A beginner's understanding of French and spanish.

Your personality (specific)

Are you moody? Not really. Maybe sometimes. But not really.

Use five words to describe what you feel inside: frustrated, confused, lustful, lucky, bloated.

Do people know how you feel? Yes.

What would you change about your personality? I'm lazy. That's all. Just extremely lazy.

Are you perceived wrongly? I don't think so.

What drives you? I know things are going to get better. I know someday I'll have what I want and I'll be happy.

Worst fault: Stuff and some such. Being lazy.

Your friends

Do your friends know you? Some do. My guy friends definitly do. My girl friends.. well, they know who I am now, but they don't know how I got here. And that's reassuring, sometimes.

What do they tend to be like? They have their own little traits and tendencies and things that I love about them and things that I hate about them. They're honest and very uplifting.

Are there traits in you that are universally liked? I think people appreciate my sense of humor.

Few friends or many acquaintances? Few friends.

Can you count on them? Definitely.

Can they count on you? I'd like to think so.

Sex

Are you good at it? I don't know.. it's been so long since I've actually had it. (Due to the whole boyfriend is a virgin thing)

Have you ever been criticized about your performance? I've been told that I need to "suck harder."

What does it for you in a sex partner? This is just really not applicable to me, I'm sorry to say.

Music/TV/Film/Books

Favorite bands ever: Guns N Roses, Aerosmith, Tom Petty, Bette Midler, Live, Dido, Smashing Pumpkins, Skid Row.

Most listened to bands currently: Guns N Roses, Dido, bleh. I don't listen to much music. I listen to alot of AM radio.

Can you play an instrument? Yeah, viola. I started The Strings Diary Ring for other orchestra types.

Type of music listened to: Anything that sounds good. Lately, it's alot of country, like "Man of Me" by Gary Allen and "What I Really Meant to Say" by Cyndi Thompson.

Type never listened to: Umm.. latino.

Books: Stephen King, Jennifer Cruisie, Rita Ciresi, ladeelalaa

TV Shows: My So Called Life, Boston Public, Friends, Dawson's Creek, The Practice