August 11th 2001

I went to a very lovely wedding today. I cried through the whole thing, because I am female and that's what we do. I started crying at the beginning because the friend who's getting married's mom has been sick for years and years, and couldn't come, so her father brought a white rose to the front to represent her.

She was the leader of our youth group last year, this is how I know her. Our whole group came together and sat together and it was really nice. If there was ever someone I should pattern myself after, it would be her. There's nothing bad about her. She's so strong and beautiful and special and patient, and it made me so happy to see her get married. I think she's only 20, but when you've found someone, you've found them.

What I don't understand is how she could keep her mind on the wedding and not on the wedding night. She's a nice christian girl and he's a nice christian guy, and they're going to be consumating this marriage tonight, presumably. I know, since BB is a virgin, that's all I'll be able to think about during the ceremony and reception. It's just strange to think about it. We've done so much together, been through so many things, yet there's still something we haven't done. That's just really wacky to think about.

So I stayed at BB's house last night, like I've done every Friday for 15000 years. He stays online until like 4 AM when I'm there, so I always go to bed before him. Lately, I've picked up the odd habit of talking while I'm sleeping and making absolutly no sense. BB is probably used to this by now, but it's annoying to me. Last night I accused him of waking me up 4 different times when he was just sitting there minding his own business. It makes me feel especially dorky.

I can't find my vibrator anywhere. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if my mom wasn't coming to help me clean up the place tommorow. She'll find it before I do, probably, and that'll just be icky.

Everyone is out of the dorms now, because it's intersession, and everyone is going home and crap before school starts. I'm, of course, staying here. I used to have a place to go home to, but my mom now lives about 8 miles from me, so that's no good.

The worst part of this wedding was getting dressed for it. I was wearing this red shirt that I washed yesterday but it had a big stain on it for some reason, so I put on my black tank top. These arms aren't ready to be shown around, so I put a long sleeved button down shirt on top of it, and considering it was about 102 degrees when I did this, that was probably not a good idea. But it started raining! Yayyyy! And it wasn't hot anymore. It's 81 degrees. I think rain turns me on, because I get way too excited.

Actually, that wasn't the worst part about the wedding. The worst part was the orchestra people. The violinist was wonderful and beautiful, but the cello player.. where'd they get this chick? Did they pluck her out of her 6th grade beginning orchestra class and transfer her to this wedding? I used to be in the orchestra, and I could play cello better than this chick, even though I play viola. I want to start a viola ring, but I don't know if anyone would join it.

I am currently burning a candle, which is not allowed in the dorms. Oooh, look at me, I'm an outlaw! I'm breaking the rules! wooeeee!

So now, I'm in rare form, and I actually look kinda hot, and I have nowhere to go. BB is going to a party, one of my friends is going home to College Station and another is studying for a Real Estate test, so buh. I think I'm just going to go hang out in a bookstore and maybe see a movie. That sounds like the easiest, most enjoyable thing to do.

Fascinating.

August 11th 2001

I went to a party on Saturday night, didn't get laid got in a fight.

Uh huh.

It aint no big thing.

Not really. That's just a song, you know.

I made a thrilling and exciting discovery today. Ever sense I was in 5th grade, I've really enjoyed the love that is Peanut Butter Kudos. I love the stuff, can't get enough of it. But for the past 5 years or so, I haven't been able to find it in stores. Not at Kroger, Albertsons, Walmart, anywhere. You can get them at Costco, but they come with 2 other kinds and there's only 6 of them.

Well, today I was buying a Surge Protector at Target and I happen to look in the breakfast food aisle, and there it is! Peanut Butter Kudos, Behold! I almost bought 3 boxes, but then at the last minute I limited myself to 2. I am so very excited, because I have Kudos, people! Peanut Butter Kudos, for fuck's sake!

I am currently watching As Good As It Gets. I sort of have a rotating movie collection, which includes this: You've Got Mail, Jerry Maguire, Sleepless in Seattle, Twister, and Beaches. None of these movies are my favorites, except for Beaches, of course, but they're good movies to have on if I'm studying or cleaning my room or just hanging out.

I just played Yahtzee and I got 5 yahtzees during the course of the game. This is a freak accident and will probably never happen again. I got a score of 2115. My record before this was somewhere in the 1300's. Good times? Good times.

I had to buy Maxim's music magazine, Blender, today, because it had the 50 sexiest musicians in it. And there, on his own glorius page, was Axl. I had to buy it. This picture is going on my wall, where it will be forever and ever!

I love men's magazines, I must say. I don't care if I'm a traitor to my gender, I love Maxim, FHM, Playboy, all that crap. It's very entertaining to me. I have a subscription to all of the above mentioned magazines. Actually, BB has the subscription to Playboy, but he doesn't even open the plastic before he just hands it off to me.

I will now return to Jack Nicholson and a horribly annoying Helen Hunt.